An Unfaithful Wife

Branded and blackened by my own misdeeds
I stand before you; not as one who pleads
For mercy or forgiveness, but as one,
After a wrong is done,
Who seeks the why and wherefore.
 
Go with me
Back to those early years of love, and see
Just where our paths diverged.
I was the central thing
in all the universe for you just then.
Just then for me, there were no other men.
I cared
Only for tasks and pleasures that you shared.
Such happy, happy days. You wearied first.
I will not say you wearied, but a thirst
For conquest and achievement in a man's realm
Left my plane with no pilot at the helm.
The money madness, and the keen desire
To outstrip others, set your heart on fire.
Into the growing conflagration went
Romance and sentiment.
 
Abroad you are a man of power
Your double dower
Of mind and brains
Gave you a leader's place
At home you were dull, tired and commonplace.
You housed me, fed me, clothed me,
You were kind
But oh, so blind, so blind.
You could not see, would not see my woman's need
Of small attentions you paid no heed.
When I complained of loneliness; you said
"A man must think about his daily bread
And not waste time in empty social life-
He leaves that sort of duty to his wife
And pays her bills and lets her have her way
And feels she should be satisfied."
 
Each day
Our lives that had been one life at the start
Farther and farther seemed to drift apart
Dead was the romance of the man and maid
Your talk was all of politics or trade.
Your work, your club, your mad pursuit of gold
Absorbed your thoughts. Your duty kiss felt cold
Upon my lips.
Life lost its zest, its thrill,
Until
One fateful day when earth seemed very dull
It suddenly grew bright and beautiful.
I spoke a little and he listened much;
There was attention in his eyes, and such
A note of comradeship in his low tone,
I felt no more alone.
 
There was a kindly interest in his air;
He spoke about the way I dressed my hair.
And praised the dress I wore.
It seemed a thousand, thousand years and more
Since I had been so noticed. Had mine ear,
Been used to compliments year after year,
If I had heard you speak
As this man spoke, I would not have been so weak.
The innocent beginning
of all my sinning
Was just the woman's craving to be brought
Into the inner shrine of some man's thought.
You held me there as your bride;
And then as a wife you left me far outside.
So far, so far, you could not hear me call;
You might, you should have saved me from my fall.
I was not bad, just lonely, that was all.

~Anonymous~

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