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ON AND ON ....AND ON This bed is too damn hard My back hurts I’m still breathing “normally” Thanks to the respirator And all the other gadgets Keeping the old ticker going The beeps telling me I’m still here, alive
Listen, I can’t speak Dab my lips with that wet sponge My mouth is dry, my throat itchy Want to pull out that tube But that would mean death Now would that be worse?
Don’t touch me there, you crazy woman! Don’t look at me like that, you silly intern! Am not some pathological sample under your microscope Don’t crowd around me, point at me, Discuss me like I’m not even here Talk to me! I am not brain-dead yet Give me back my dignity
Call the doctor, I have something to ask her But hey listen! I can’t speak Do you people know what you are doing? Are you sure? I’m not feeling any better you know Am I being a nuisance? Good! Cos, you’re bugging me too!
Am cold, turn down the air conditioning Or turn up the heat Or just give me a hot water bag Or my old cotton quilt Or better still, a warm hug
Hey there! Listen, I can’t speak With this tube in my mouth! It hurts when I try I can’t lift this hand to gesticulate There’s that needle stuck there In my vein My other hand just went to sleep
Where is everyone? Hello? Have you all given up on me? Doesn’t anyone care anymore? I’m still here, haven’t left yet Come back, for heaven’s sake
You want me to be nice? I’ll try, but I don’t promise I hurt too much…am scared Can’t think of anything nice Right now
Hold my hand, talk to me Am awake, not really asleep Tell me what you did today And what did the doctor say? How much longer????
Will it hurt when I go? When I stop breathing will I know? Will my mind switch off first Or my body? Have they figured that out yet? Will my whole life flash before me? Tell me, will I just cease to be? Or is there something beyond this reality?
Another realm where I’ll suddenly find myself Floating on a cloud or walking on water Will there be angels? Those good looking ones? Now there’s a nice thought! Or will I go straight to hell? I know what I deserve, but all the same..
I’m still breathing, the machines work! Hey listen, I can’t speak… The beeps are getting to me now Just turn those things off … Let me go... ~Swati Chandran~
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