I am so happy when I’m not being sad
I can light up a heart or break it in two
So very kind when I’m not being petty
Want you to trust me while I’m questioning you

 I crib about the traffic while crossing the road
Curse at jaywalkers when I’m driving my car
Tip extravagantly at a luxury hotel
And bargain for change at the roadside bazaar

 I can poke fun at the vain while painting my nails
Condemn oppression even as I overwork my staff
Comment on pollution, puffing away at my cigarette
Discuss animal rights over mutton kebabs

 I donate old clothes before every shopping spree
Have to keep up with the latest fashion trends
Feed the poor on my birthday, once every year
Fancy dinners, most weekends, for my well heeled friends