Coffee, Tea or Gin

Come let us to join a coffee table chat,
More like braining someone with a bat,
Spill your guts, what an effortless feat,
And have them say, "How nice what a treat."
Now don't bleed all over the carpet,
Don't blubber on it and don't make it wet,
Just talk with deep, deep feeling and soul,
But please keep the feeling well in control.
So you had your head cut off yesterday,
How wonderful for you to feel this way,
Did you feel anything like remorse?
Or did you offer some little force.
Oh come do not bawl, stop crying at once,
I will not listen if you continue this pretence,
Good lord, give a woman an inch,
She'll take your arm and not even flinch.
Tut, tut, tut, dry your watery eyes,
Here, take this napkin and not so much noise,
What do you think making such a great din?
Lets stop with the coffee and start with some gin.
About these feelings my god such a fuss,
Please go now my dear, hurry, there's the bus,
Do come back soon for I will to make,
Another pot of coffee and feeling partake,
Feelings and coffee are fatal to mix,
Now away dear lady for I am feeling sick.