The Ostrich
You cook dinner
With an ear on the phone
Waiting for it to ring
Even though the voice within you knows
That it will remain silent
As silent as he is about his escapades
The stories that you hear from others
So eager to tell you what you suspect
But don't dare to know
He said he would be in Chennai
But his servant says he's gone to Mumbai
And you wonder who is telling the truth
Could friends be lying about the other woman
The one who wears green sarees and smells of perfume
Which clings to his hair when he holds you close
You don't wish to confront him
You are afraid of the answer you might get
Knowing what it might be
And yet hoping it will not be so
You wonder why you put up with it
Allowing yourself to feel insecure
Agonizing over what might be the truth
About this man you chose to make you feel secure
The phone does not ring
You don't really expect it to
You eat a listless dinner
Wondering if he is holding her hand by candlelight
And wonder what lies he'll tell you
When he does not hold yours
Perhaps it's just a phase
Maybe he is lying to protect me from pain
I'm imagining things, she's could be a friend
Now who is lying, he to you or you to you
Why can't you wake up and see that you're alone
You've always been and shall be till the end
And you've lost yourself in the search
For yourself in someone else
~Siddharth Sanyal~