NOW I'M INSINCERE
From
you I have learnt to lie,
It seems that lies are what you want;
I thought I'd rather tell the truth
My truth to you seems like taunt.
You'd sell yourself for sweet promises
And gladly believe his lies
Though any fool can see his game
You prefer not to be wise.
You close your eyes to reality
To believe that you are the only one
While all the world knows for sure
With you he's having fun.
You agonize when he doesn't call
Or says he's going out with a friend
Something tells you perhaps he's lying
And yet you otherwise pretend.
For when he calls you in his need
You go running to him to show
How much you are willing to give-
Your forgiveness an endless store.
You forget that I was the one
Who wiped away your tears
Held your hand on those lonely nights
And allayed all your fears.
Yet when I so badly needed you
You did not seem to notice
That I hadn't called you for days
Or that something was amiss.
You only think of me when he's gone
Or when you are feeling blue
Wondering if the stories you hear
Could indeed all be true.
Yet his lies you always forget
For him your legs willingly part
I'm just a friend in your hour of need
You don't want my sincere heart.
So now I've learnt to tell them lies
And stories that they like to hear
Somehow they all love me now
When I've become so insincere.
~Siddharth Sanyal~