I asked myself a several times
Why did I lie?
Why did I quit even before a try?
I loved you but I said I don’t
I convinced myself I’ll forget you
Though within I knew I won’t
I forced a smile when I wanted to cry
I wanted to give my all, just one try
But I held myself back
Saw you walking away, to never come back
I asked myself,
Why did I lie?
Why did I quit even before a try?
To the question of mine
I never got an answer
I decided to finish it forever
For in my own eyes, I was a liar
I picked up a blade and placed it on my wrist ready to eat my flesh
But then…
I decided to think over again
To look for some answers again.
I thought deeply,
Why did I lie to you?
Though I loved you!
I got the answer then,
Somewhere from within
The only reason why I lied to you
Was because I really loved you.

The smile on your face
Was the reason for my tears
What you told me
Was what made me hold back what I wanted to tell you all these years.
The smile on your face was for someone else
The place I wanted in your life was reserved for someone else
I lied to you because I wanted to see you happy
And I knew, to quit was the only way
Because love is not just being happy
It means to be happy together
And with someone else in your heart that could happen never.
I knew your happiness was not with me
I knew you did not love me.
I picked up t he blade again
And pulled it across…
To separate your part of me
And let go what was not for me.
Because now I was not a liar
I was the woman who would love you forever.

~Akansha~