What is this
wind, this air of solitude
that marks my mind with apprehension of thoughts
yet unthought, of deeds yet undone?
I puzzle at That which I am for I understand not, my own feeble
convictions and shudder at what I may yet become,
unabated in the direction of my longings and desires.
Am I a coward who succumbs to some bitter spirits that
so engulf my sleep to sicken my heart into upheavaled
agony?
Have I the courage to force these specters
who haunt my being to its core to then, tear from it
those desires I feel most heartily?
Be I either man or beast, would hasten to retreat
from such apparitions as my thoughts might conjure.
What cause be this affliction of my soul,
this torment which twists my mind into
uncertain, vacillating tribulations of thought?
It is, I fear above all fear, a woman.
This then shall be my sentence without parole.
In fitful sleep to toss and turn
racked with dreams of pleasures unseen,
of crescendos unheard, of those dear and cherished moments
of longing bless that such affliction may carry to my soul.
I am undone for I have not the courage to end this
torment in any way but swift capitulation as fate
surely demands.
If lovers heart and hand be sin,
then I am guilty to admire this maiden
whose wistful beauty captures each breath I take
and each thought that may cross my mind.
Thusly, I am bent into confusion by emotion so deeply ground
into my being
that no power on earth, save death itself,
could dislodge even a single fragment of its potency.
Her smile spreads its warmth across my face
as does the sun nurture those blessed blossoms that
trace their path across the heavens on such course
as God himself dictates.
What providence has brought me to this point in time,
what means of destiny has coursed my being to this
pinnacle where I, among all others and deservedly so,
shall meet the fate of my kind for eons in enthralling
delight. How shall I deal with such as this?
I shall kiss her!
~Robert E Browne~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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