REFLECTIONS

REFLECTIONS

Passing thru hazy mists
Of my mind and soul
Drunk by the hurt and pain
Is disillusionment my only goal ?

Walk as I do
in this never ending maze of emotions
what is right, what is wrong,
caught in this swirling ocean

Battered am I as I do else
Breathing smoke and fire
Run amok in my own world
Earning everyone's well deserved ire

I tried to talk, reached out my hand
Did my best to reason and explain
Tried so hard to connect
Only met with scorn and disdain

Where am I
What am I doing
Wallowing as I am in my own disaster
Me, a distant image of me showing

Was I like this ?
I ask myself, and only I know, I wasn't
I held my bit and taught myself
All that turned ultimately to naught

Coz life ain't what's taught in books
Coz life ain't what u make it to be
Coz life ain't about self justification
Coz life is of 2 breaths to be set free

To be able to feel
The sorrow and happiness all around
And make the most of it
Revelling in every moment abound

At the end of it all
I pause and ask
And till date, I yet am asking
Myself...a million questions.....nary a few and many past

Heaven and hell are both deemed here
Your actions do deem your plight
Run as you will, in self conjectured mazes
Too late....I see the light

Love , lust, anger, hate, greed, happiness, sorrow, grief,
pain.......emotion..........attachment
Vices that eat my soul
Uneasy am I in this theatre of life
Must I act to find my goal ?

Caught as I am in this drama of life
Bending, fending, succumbing and yielding,
Always thinking, did I do right , did I err
Too late I realise n hear the voice within shouting

Truths to which I shut my eyes n ears
Not daring to believe what was shown to me
Was too scared to understand
The truth that was ultimately to be

If I could see from a distance
The master puppeteer at work
Pulling strings, making his subjects sway
The way I have, feeling an absolute twerp

I quiz myself,
Do I have a choice
The rigours of life that must be undergone
Protest as I do at the top of my voice

I want to break free
Yet am caught in this whirlpool of emotion and attachment
Who will win within me
Know not I, in this state of disillusionment

Told from epics of eons old,
The haunting voice reminds
Do what I have to do
That's where the law of life binds

Not to want, not to expect,
Just do what I feel I must do
Complete a chore, finish my task
To me, society and family too....

Demented and warped as I may be perceived
The path that's set for me to go....
Villain for all, hero for none...
Never in life have I felt so low.....

~LoneRanger~

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