A BODY IN THE LIBRARY

A body in the library: the library

High-shelved, oak-panelled? Why, of course, it has

To be, fulfilling the convention, a

Certainty set against uncertainty

Of whom the murderer may be. The house

Has splendid rooms and rambling corridors,

Fair-set amid green rolling parkland in

A rural shire of southern England, owned

By some old lord in Harris tweed.


And was the victim poisoned, strangled, stabbed?

It could be any one of these: the plot

Will unravel in due course and reveal

The villain of this dreadful crime, but not

Before the guests have been assembled: crabbed

Old ladies, pearls loose-hung on withered necks,

Smooth playboys come down for the weekend shoot,

Lithe, sexy socialites on a 'house-crawl',

Entangled in affairs, the mob-capped maids,

A butler too-- ah yes, a butler makes

The scene complete with his, ''Will that be all

M'lord?'' while bowing deferentially

As he withdraws, a silver tray in hand.


Of course, the house-guests will be questioned by

A police inspector to determine who

Was where last night-- and where indeed! The young

Things, and some older ladies too, may well

Have wandered from their rooms to furtively

Engage in 'passage-creeping': a practice

Common to parties in a country House,

Involving few or many-- tacitly.

And ruses are employed: a bolster thrust

Beneath the bedclothes by an absentee,

Suggestive of a sleeping occupant,

Collusions with a trusted lady's maid--

Her lady pleasuring elsewhere, the tipped-

Off valet of a roving gentleman: 

Night-assignations kept, the fond embrace,

Amorous dalliance-- and all of it

An open secret, honoured rules obeyed.


Meanwhile, what of the murder? The slumped corpse

Has been examined-- stabbing now confirmed:

A thrusted dagger in the chest. And how

Appropriate within the plot it is,

(A dagger is theatrical and makes

For vivid drama) , motives are affirmed:

The victim rich and influential, loud

In manner, coarse-tongued, had meted insult

And ridden roughshod over lesser men,

(As he considered them), the conclusion?

Revenge plain and simple, with perhaps a

Small element of envy intermixed--

The police feel sure of it.


Still gathered in the drawing-room are knots

Of gentlemen in formal jackets, stiff-

Styled shirts and silk bow-ties. ''Debrett's'' *

Could be employed to learn the details of

The ladies clustered there: what lyrical

White arms, braceleted fair wrists, elegant-

Fingered hands cradling cocktails, a dangle

Of diamonds from velvet ear-lobes, the brent

Opulent bosoms lending glory to

The scintillating satin gowns, pearls warmed

>From nestling swan-soft necks; the shifting view

Of shingled heads or hair worn long, the charmed

Clear eyes, animated countenances,

Dark, conspiritorial looks, the sweet

And whispered confidences, shared intrigues,

Intriguing both tellers and told, the heat

Of gossip, lure of scandal-- moistened mouths

Busy and beautiful, drizzling idle

Cut-glass converse across the cosy room:

A spiced concoction savoured by them all--

Ladies of Quality truly at home.


The body is removed, the police have gone,

The library doors thrown open-- now with port

And large cigars the gentlemen drift in,

Debating whodunit amid their blown

Havana smoke, all laughing at the sport

They had today-- ''such jolly fun, what!'' Then,

With port drank, cigars stubbed, there sounds,

''Gentlemen! Shall we join the ladies?''

~ Stanley ~


* ''Debrett's Peerage'' ; a 'Who's Who' of the aristocracy.

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