INTERVIEW

[The white van with a big CH-17 on it’s side and various electronic apparatus on it’s dome pulled up to the Old Sailors Home. It parked in the yellow striped delivery zone with authority, a well dressed young man stepped out of the van with a notebook and microphone in hand as two other individuals, dressed in workman like clothing, hurriedly opened the back of the van and started~ unpacking equipment.

The young man with notebook and microphone skipped up the steps of the rambling, two story building,~ entered the front doors and was greeted by a middle aged nurse in white, starched uniform. Her smile indicated her pleasure at the young man’s arrival and put him at ease.

The reporter motioned to the nurse and asked, “Is the old man ready for the interview? Just about.” The nurse replied.” The reporter returned to the entrance way, leaned out of the double doors and yelled at the two men still unpacking the truck. “Bring it right in here boys!” the two men complied, one with hand held camera and the other paying out cable.

With introductions complete, the young man and nurse entered what was apparently a visiting and recreation room. The young man again directed where the camera would set and where the old man should be positioned. The nurse dutifully presented the old man in a wheelchair to the reporter while emphasizing his Captains rank with unmistakable admiration.

After a few minutes of jockeying around, the camera lights went on and all froze as if hit by some hidden ray. The young man advised the Old Sea Captain that they should follow his lead and all would be well.

“Your on.” Whispered one of the technicians.

“Yes, thank you Ben. This is Randy Clark, your roving correspondent at the retired sailors home in Carlton. Today we are visiting Captain D. S. Dandrige on his one hundredth birthday.

On cue, a cake with a hundred candles was wheeled in to view as the correspondent leaned over and asked the Captain how it felt to be one hundred years old. The old man shrugged. Undaunted by this apparent lack of enthusiasm, the news man remarked, “I suppose you’ve seen a few things in your day, aye Captain? Yep!” was the response. Bordering on irritation, the young man asked, “Tell us about some of your exploits.” At this the old sea dog perked up and said. ]

“why, by my life before the mane
I’ve ridden rafts through hurricanes.
I’ve driven on L. A. highways
And made love to lonesome mermaids.

“Ah.” The young man said but to no avail.

“I’ve battled pirates on river bars
And sailed beneath a million stars.
I’ve drank my fill then drank some more
Each time I’ve stopped in Singapore.

Why, in the islands I was known
As the reason girls strayed from home.
I been to Timbuktu and back
And fended off a shark attack
While pouring dark rum from a keg
And pealing an old Chinese egg.

Gosh Captain,” The reporter finally seized upon the opportunity to take control again.

“Is it fate that your still alive
Or did something else help you survive
Through those trials and tribulations
In strange ports and foreign nations?”

The Captain paused and thought a bit
And cranked up with an awful spit,

“It’s true I’ve taken quite a few
Slim chances on the briny blue
But I’m always comforted by
God in his wisdom in the sky.

For God loves old dogs and sailors
across the seas and oceans
And gives their trial a Godly smile
      When they get crazy notions.

It’s been a task I’d not repeat
for rum or precious pearl
But I might be persuaded if
you know a Geisha girl.

Ah-Hum, Well there you have it ladies and gentlemen, words to the wise from an old salt.”

Again the Captain grabbed the mike.

“I saved Jonah from the whale,
I got John Paul under sail,  

And as McAuthor used to Say.

Old sailors never die,
They just smell that way.”    

~Robert E Browne~

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