I have tried to think of you, Death -
as the slowly crawling yellow gaslight coldness
that seeps slitheringly through my skin,
seeps within.
frightens and freezes the thoughts
holding me ashamedly numb to myself
and I close my eyes to see the inside.

 I have tried to think of you, death -
awaiting your call in the hesitant sounds
of my unsure feet on the silent grounds
as the shadow that precedes me,
larger-than-life-like, blacker, taller,
as I walk away from the lamplight.

 I have tried to think of you, death
The coldly lustrous, immutable knife
that slits my wrists to take my life
As all the lines I would want to,
but that I cannot write.
Forever in the dark, forever half wanting
half hating the light.

~Shombuddho~