DEATH

I am a coward-yes; I shy away from the eternal truth
I live every moment in perpetual fear- of what it would be like in death.

How much time does it take, I wonder- when one chokes and finally dies?
What helplessness, what despair-must one feel when the moment arrives.

I worry not for the living-life goes on and no one is missed
Neither do I weep for the dead-they no longer feel-they have been freed

It is the suspense of the final hour- that always mesmerizes me.
The transition from the living to death-is it smooth or full of agony?

God! How will I pass that acid test? What will happen to me in the end?
This is my constant worry-you may call me paranoid but I can't pretend.

I think it better to have a sudden snapping- to go suddenly- without warning
To know your moment has come, to wait for it is harder ordeal than the real
thing.

Will God be lenient to me and bless me with a quick release?
Or will He be stern and disapproving and send me to tortuous death to
punish.

Yes, on the judgment day my deeds will decide my destiny.
If my conscience is not tainted God will call me up lovingly.

But for all my harshness, all insincerities-I will have to pay here alone
Penance will be done at the time of death-I will wriggle and writhe until
Lord atones.

~Jayanti Sinha~

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